


"And the ghosts, they watch, of course, for what else is there to do?"

by Peepapeep



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa Infinite Chase, Danganronpa Infinite Chase
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But she is there, Canon-Typical Violence, Chikako exists, Eichi is less of an ass, Fix-It, Gen, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Kamiko and Eichi bond over ghost shit, Kinda, LATER, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Nikola Lives au, Not too in depth but it might get heavy later so im tagging it now, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Shes there for kamikos sake tbh, Suicidal Thoughts, Vesta gets sort of redeemed ig, again shes a ghost, but she has some development, fangan ronpa: infinite chase, hes a ghost, idk if that counts, just for nikola's sake tbh, like not completely, no beta we die like men, ships will happen eventually, this fic in general will happen eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:55:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28166613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peepapeep/pseuds/Peepapeep
Summary: Dying is such a strange thing.It really makes you realize how fleeting life is.It's especially strange for those who fall victim to it.You never think ghosts are real until you're staring down at your corpse, yknow?
Relationships: Eichi Aonuma & Vesta Campbell, Kamiko Chiba & Eichi Aonuma, Kamiko Chiba/Kazumi Himaru, Nikola Smith & Vesta Campbell, Nikola Smith/Luna Galaxy
Kudos: 4





	1. Ending Our Beginning ; Living In Death

Nikola had a rather hard time adjusting to being dead. Waking up after getting your head smashed in is.. an experience. A rather surreal one at that. After opening his eyes and rising from the floor, for a moment he assumed he was alive. Hand ran over his head, an aching feeling in the back of it, and when he pulled his hand in front of his face, he saw blood. 

His blood. 

With a start he got up and looked around, now realizing he was actually a goner. Although he hadn’t ever believed in ghosts, getting up and seeing his own corpse did wonders to convince him. Still, it was a hard truth to grapple with. He always thought death would be.. more satisfying, maybe. More final, really. But he couldn’t help but worry now. What would happen to Vesta? To everyone else on the train? Was Mike a ghost too? 

He spent a while just sitting in that cargo car, biting at his nails and worrying. As people walked in and found his body, he watched, trying to talk to them, or move things for them. However his ability to communicate with the living seemed to end the moment he stopped being one of them. And so all he could do was observe and follow. 

He observed Yaku digging his hands through his pockets, grimacing slightly at how easily he seemed to do it. Not sure what else to do, he followed, getting to see his ticket video for the first time, though the continents of it were tragically familiar. After learning ghosts can cry, he left and watched Reo talk to Vesta for a bit, face growing pale at her allegations against him. After that he thought it better to go back to the place he died in.

He always liked trains, he especially admired the cargo car. All the tools neatly organized, so the second he noticed one was gone, his fate was laid out in front of him. A quiet sigh escaped him as he admired those tools, even now. Even as they killed him. 

Everything after that seemed to pass in a blur, people walking in and out, some stopping for a moment before deciding his rotting form held nothing more for them but some germs. The only interaction that seemed to snap him out of his ghost induced dissociative funk was when Kamiko discovered his body.. and then claimed he was a unicorn. It gave him a good chuckle, and a brief moment of happiness. One quickly stomped out by the old man that had somehow gotten tangled up with the rest of the ultimate bunch- seeming very adamant in the fact Nikola wasn't a unicorn. And although the man might have agreed internally that he could truly never be as good or helpful as a unicorn, it seemed awfully cruel to crush a child's imagination like that.

If he weren’t so incorporeal, he would’ve shushed eichi and then played along with Kamiko’s antics, like any polite young gentleman should. Instead he sort of just gave the old man a disapproving look in hopes he would sense it and knock off his cruel behavior. Maybe there was some truth to his silly little stare, as he seemed to give up on trying to convince Kamiko about the reality of the situation. 

Still, Eichi’s dismissive attitude bored Kamiko, and she ran off. Life, and death, went on, with Nikola continuing to remain in the stupid cargo car, deciding to lose himself in his thoughts ro pass the time. 

Eventually it was trial time, and Nikola, with nothing else to do, decided to follow the people he wished he had grown close enough to call friends into the trial room. Perhaps because he wanted to help, perhaps he wanted justice for his killer, even if he considered his death a just one (because of course he was just that selfish). Or maybe, like he just thought, it was simply because he had nothing better to do. 

So he stood at his trial podium, finding the experience of phasing through the stand holding up his trial photo a tad... unpleasant. He did his best to keep his back to it, though its hard to do something like that when your body isn't completely corporeal. 

Ignoring those honestly petty complaints in comparison to his whole situation going on at the moment, he got a pretty nice view of everyone's shenanigans. The yelling, the drama, the everything. He watched his killer confess, he watched his killer once again tell lies about him (that honestly he couldn’t quite blame- does it matter what is said about him when he's dead? He was always an awful person anyways, who cares if the one awful thing is switched around a bit?) So he holds his tongue, as again nothing he says really matters to anyone really. Not in this state. Maybe not before that, too. Not like anyone spoke to him- or even really cared about him before his death, right?

The only time anyone seemed to show any affection towards him was when they found his body. When they had to find out who murdered him. And even then... it cant help but feel preformative when they suddenly start trying to get the person who killed him a lighter sentence. 

Is that selfish of him, though? Shouldn't he just be happy they cared at all? Didn’t he want to die? What right does he have to be upset about how he is treated afterwards? What right does he have to complain about the consequences of his wish? Hadn't he ever learned a goddamn thing? What good is it to be an ultimate if youre just as stupid and selfish and horrible as everyone else?

That sure doesn't sound like someone worthy of being a beacon of hope to me.

That thought spiral is what resulted in Nikola gripping the wood of his trial stand, a blank sort of look in his eyes and familiar thoughts of self loathing entered his mind again. He couldn’t even wish for death at this point, for he had already gotten it granted. So instead he stood there, blaming himself for everything, wondering if this was his punishment. 

The only thing to snap him out of it was The Boilerman’s obnoxious laughter and proclamation of voting time. A screen raised up in everyone’s trial podium, with a picture of everyone on it. There was one at his, too, which he considered a tad pointless. He would’ve considered it a direct moccery if he thought the boilerman could actually see him. If he could’ve he’s sure the puppet would’ve said something by now. He was alone in that room for how long? Surely he could stop by for even a moment simply to say hi, or to taunt him, whichever he preferred. A conversation with his captor would’ve at least given him something to do.

Again, he watched helplessly as everyone voted, feeling a twinge of... something as The Boilerman announced those who voted for a table over the person who had admitted to killing him. If he were a crueler or more cynical man, he might have wondered if they had brain damage that made them unable to retain information from more than 5 seconds ago. It truly would explain some people's behaviors..

But he was not the awful person he thought he was. He was just a kid who wanted to help. And he couldn't. Though he did try, and that could be considered notable in its own right. 

Even if some did vote for the table, or for themselves, in one unfortunate case, that striked a twinge of pity in his heart... the majority voted for Vesta. He watched her with sad eyes as she pleaded for life. As she screamed. As she was lifted and tortured and forced to admit to the awful things she did. 

She had hurt him, yes. She.. she might’ve killed everyone, had she gone away with it. But she did not deserve this. No one deserved this. What cruel sort of being could be responsible for such a horrific punishment? The ghost wondered, grey eyes wandering to the puppet in question, a mixture of curiosity and horror in his eyes, before they moved back the the star of this wretched show. 

Vesta Campbell. He looked up to her, a tad. He talked to her when this all began. She told him he had no need to fear the killing game, that she’d always be there for him. Something like that. Well, he hadn’t really lied, in the end. He hadn’t a need to worry anymore. And after this, she’d surly be stuck with him. 

If he hadn’t been dragged to hell, she wouldn’t be either. He hoped not, anyways. Even if she might hate him now, he thinks he’d get lonely, wandering around the train and such.. 

Before he could really consider the possibility of leaving, he got to watch, as did everyone else, as Vesta finally died. It was a horrific sort of sight. One he might consider traumatizing if Nikola thought he could actually be traumatized anymore. The noise of everyone else began to blur as he watched with wide eyes as Vesta’s ghost formed, her body floating for a moment, before she lowered herself. Limbs detached in a strange sort of way where they were still hanging close to her body- as if they didn’t know where else to go. (though, Nikola was sure Vesta’s limbs didn’t gain a mind of their own in death) Her clothes ripped and torn in a way that made the other a tad uncomfortable if he was being truthful, and a thin line of blood dripped down from her mouth.

As her feet his the ground, the rest of her soon followed. She sat on her knees, eyes the same sort of blank Nikola had not too long before. The woman sat there for a moment, hands pressing against the floor, as if attempting to ground herself. Nikola spent a while simply considering what the hell he was really supposed to do. He made his way over to her, a soft sort of concerned look in his grey eyes. But she glared at him as he approached, and he moved back like a scared sort of animal. 

“Are you..?” He began, but she let out a hiss that made him jump and move back once more.

“Leave me alone. I need not your sympathies, you..” The blood dripping from her mouth began to increase from a small dribble into something a.. tad more concerning. “I can handle myself fine!” 

Although slightly deterred, he still felt awfully bad simply leaving her there. “I know you can, you’re uh.. you’re smart. I just, you seem kind of-” As he reached a hand out to perhaps place on her shoulder, her eyes went wide and she slapped it away, rising to her feet and revealing how she truly towered over him. 

“I told you to leave me be! Can you not listen at all? Go.. Go back to the ditch you died in, you- you pervert! You bastard! GET AWAY FROM ME!” The anger in her eyes was enough to cause Nikola to flinch and curl in on himself. He slowly backed away from her, idly noticing as white fog filled the room.

“I- I-” He stuttered, eventually settling on a simple apology. She simply glared at him and turned her back to him .”Just.. Leave. Don’t come back.” If anyone else could hear them at that moment, it’d hard to fault them if they mistook her words for an angry growl from some dangerous beast. And to Nikola, they might as well have been.

As everyone was taken out of the trial room, and off to the dining car for The Boilermans next big plan, Nikola turned to follow.

But just before he got out, he began to hear quiet sobbing in the room.

The man hesitated for a moment, considering his options. 

It only took him a moment, but he decided not to turn back. 

A part of him still wished he hadn’t.


	2. The Heart Can Only Truly Bleed Through The Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikola has to teach a dead girl about death and it's really hard.

Nikola didn’t realize ghosts could sleep until he was waking up. Apparently standing around doing nothing followed by a full on panic attack could really wear a ghost kid down. After getting to his feet, he looked around at the other passengers, trying to see if Vesta was anywhere to be seen. 

Alas, she wasn’t. Leaving him the only person awake in the dining room. Well, that’s what he assumed at first, anyways. After scanning the room, he noticed there was someone missing. He made sure to count everyone in the room a few times, but he always came up one short.

Before he could really try and figure it out, he watched as a short girl (Chikako, he thinks her name was) wandered through the south door into the dinning room, a confused sort of look on her face. Spotting him, she smiled and walked over.

“Hello!!! Why do you look like that?” The girl asked, causing Nikola to get a tad confused, and perhaps a tad self conscious too. “Ah- look like what?” He decided to respond, perhaps she was talking about how he was at least somewhat see through now? That would hurt his ego the least, so he truly hopes that's what the young lass was confused about.

Instead the girl pointed at his head, and he found himself fidgeting with his sleeve for a moment, waiting for her to point out something he hated about himself, as children seem so skilled in doing. Their endless bounds of imagination seem to assist them wonderfully in constructing insults specifically made to break you down into a thousand little pieces. Or maybe he’s just really fucking pathetic.

“Goopy!” She pointed out with a bit of a grin, causing him to jump right back into being confused. “Huh..?” Was his simple reply as he reached a hand up and felt the area that she pointed to, a little surprised when his hand came back covered in blood. Just like when he first woke up. “So it’s always like that then..? That’s a tad gross ain’t it?” Nikola chuckled a bit, before turning his attention back to the girl in front of him.

“What is it?” Chikako then asked, looking at him with wide, confused eyes. Nikola’s hands moved towards each other, and he idly fidgeted with his fingers as he attempted to form some sort of explanation for the lass. “Well, ah.. When people get ‘urt mighty bad, they.. This sorta stuff comes out.” He never thought much about her title before- “Ultimate Idiot”, but now he felt pretty bad for her. Not that he didn’t before- getting something like that must weigh heavily on a person. But realizing she really was just a kid, trapped in a killing game? That sure was-

And then the realization hit him. Chikako’s sort of see through nature, the bruises around her neck, hell! The fact she could see him... 

Horror and sympathy filled his eyes as he finally realized he was staring at the ghost of a little girl. The killing game claimed her and he hadn’t even realized. But how? No one else was even awake! Could someone else really be motivated to kill so quickly..? Why Chikako? Who could bring themselves to kill a child, one who clearly hadn’t had much of a good life before this whole incident, if her Ultimate was anything to go by..

“Nickelee?? You okay?? You got that weird stuff coming from your eyes!” The girl’s words snapped him out of his second ghost induced spiral. He wiped his hand across his face, and was relieved when it was just tears instead of blood. A soft chuckle escaped him and he did his best to smile at her. “No, no- I’m fine. It’s only blood if it's red.” She made a little “ohhh” sound to show her understanding, then nodding her head enthusiastically to drive home the point.

“So what’s the eye stuff then?” Before Nikola could even open his mouth to answer, people began to wake up and rise from the floor, drawing the ghosts attention away from each other. Chikako had her eyes mostly on Kamiko, watching her as she eagerly rushed over to the freshly made breakfast, while Nikola mostly kept his observations on the group as a whole. He hadn’t enough time spent with them to really pick a favorite. The group could probably say something similar about him, in that regard. Not around long enough to form an opinion. Was the circumstantial apathy better than potential hatred? 

And then the voice of the dreaded Boilerman filled the room, causing Nikola to wince slightly and avert his gaze to the floor. He.. like with the rest of the people here, hadn’t spent enough time to truly hate or fear him yet but.. Even if not directly, he was still technically the cause of his death, right? Of.. Vesta’s death? 

Grey eyes shifted to glance at the child next to him, who seemed to be looking in her shoe for some reason. He still hadn’t figured out how she died, but that was Boily’s fault too. The whole thing sickened him. Though he wasn’t sure if he could actually get sick anymore. At least there are some perks to this whole thing. Look on the bright side, Nikola! That seems like something he’d tell him right now..

"Good morning you good-for-nothing passengers! How's it feel to almost die?" He laughed in a way that felt more like a threat than anything, and he continued. "I take it that you liked the justice I dealt onto that wretched Nun. She had it coming, and I'm sure the majority of you all would agree." With that, Nikola looked around for Vesta, but she still was nowhere to be seen. He truly hoped she was doing alright. No matter how horrible a person, Nikola could never truly imagine himself wishing harm upon someone. Especially when all she did was hurt him. Though she supposed, in a way, she did try to get everyone killed along with him. But.. he thinks her death was a good enough punishment for that. It’s not like she even succeeded, in the end. No point in holding grudges. 

As The Boilerman continues his little speech, a few of them pick up on the fact Chikako wasn’t with them. Nikola frowned at all the apathetic reactions to her disappearance, shooting a concerned look to Chikako who seemed mostly just confused.

“Why are they saying I’m not here? I’m right here!” Chikako looked in her shoe again. “Did you do this buggie?” Nikola cringed slightly at her confusion. It was so much harder to help someone cope with something they didn’t even know they were facing. The mere act of pointing it out felt like sentencing them to it yourself. But he hardly felt like keeping her in the dark was any better. Perhaps if he was gentle enough, it’d hurt less than if she had to figure it out by herself. 

As The Boilerman announced they had all eaten Chikako, the girl seemed even more confused, and Nikola found forming sentences even harder. The sudden reactions of everyone in the room felt like an explosion of noise- everyone screaming and jumping up and moving and running and it was all such a big mess that left Nikola reeling. The place in which his head cracked open began to ooze out more blood as he helplessly watched everyone else panic.

The only thing that really seemed to pull him out of his thoughts was Chikako suddenly hugging him- immediately wrapping his arms around her in turn, doing his best to shield her from the fate already brought down upon her by the world. The Boilerman laughed again, in a way Nikola now found even more sickening.

"You're all idiots! I'm not entirely insane." Nikola doubted the puppet's words, but didn’t say anything. Not like it would matter if he did. Their captor then informed everyone of Chikako’s unfortunate demise, and how they hadn’t actually eaten her or anything, so they really should stop crying already. But people were too busy freaking out to really comprehend that, he thought. He had a feeling most of them were only freaking out because they thought they ate her, though. It was his turn for his gaze to focus on Kamiko, as Chikako was still hugging him, unable to understand what was going on. 

The still living girl was crying, and looked like she was about to throw up any second. The sudden arrival of a robot wearing her dead friend’s skin certainly did not help, he could only assume, as he held the ghost of the friend in question closer to his chest. He may have failed to protect anyone on this train in life- or even really help at all, but.. Maybe the hug was more for his own comfort, really. But he still liked to hope it actually was doing something for the other girl. A bit selfish, in all honesty. He supposed he didn’t have to worry about being judged for petty sins like that now.. 

“What did she do to.. deserve this..?”   
“Is that Chikako?!?”  
“What the hell...”  
“AAAAHHHHHH!!” 

The room was filled with shock and confusion as The Boilerman calmly explained that this was simply another robot he would be adding to his collection, and that apparently, he had her killed for “trying to open the locked cabinet in the infirmary by fucking flipping it over itself.” or something like that. Meaning no one in the room had murdered Chikako, per say, which.. given the last class trial, was perhaps a good thing, on some level. But it also meant there was no one to be blamed or punished for this. No one would have to suffer for this life being taken away.

There was nothing Nikola could do to help, and he hated it. 

The Boilerman moved on fairly quickly, announcing that there was a new passenger on the train, and he opened the doors for everyone. Just like that, they all moved on. Chikako released her grip on Nikola, so he did the same. She looked around the room, eyes focused on Kamiko, who had yet to leave. 

“Why is she crying?” Chikako asked, slowly moving her gaze back to Nikola. Worry mixed with confusion in her big green eyes. “Why did everyone start screaming and saying I wasn’t there?” Tears began to fill her eyes, and she sniffled, body beginning to shake as everything seemed to pile up on her all at once. “What- What happened to me Nickelee? Why is everyone so sad? Why- Why did the, the, the bug tell the fuzzy circle to grab me..?” She put a hand to her throat, and tears dripped down her cheeks. “Am I.. am I bleeding, Nickelee..?” Finally she looked up at him again, and it nearly broke him. “N-Nickelee? Help me, I don’t- I don’t want everyone to be sad.. I don’t wanna get hurt.. Cause, cause I know something really bad happens when you get too hurt, but no one ever says what! And, and I don’t wanna find out..” She sniffled. “Can you help me not get hurt really bad?” 

Nikola had to do everything in his power to keep himself from crying. Someone had to be strong here, and he wouldn’t dare put that responsibility on the girl forced to mourn her own death- without even knowing that’s what she was doing, no less..

So he put a hand on her shoulder, and gave her the warmest smile he could, hoping he was holding her firm enough that she wouldn’t notice the tremors in his own form. “I’ll.. I’ll do my best. And if nothing else I’ll.. I’ll at least try and keep you entertained, alright?” He chuckled a bit, and she seemed to stop shaking as she focused on him. “Oh- you had a teddy bear, right? I know a lot of bear facts, you know. I could tell you all of them, if you’d like. But uh.. it’s a lot, so consider it a last resort.” Chikako seemed to process that for a moment, more focused on that then her earlier concerns. “Like.. like if I have.. Ultimate Boredom..?” She asked, causing Nikola to respond with an enthusiastic nod, followed by a good ole hair ruffle.

“Yeah! Hopefully we won’t get to that point though. Ultimate Boredom sounds.. boring.” Apparently Chikako found that just hilarious as she started giggling, which caused Nikola to laugh and smile.. and everything felt like it might be okay. 

“C’mon! Kamiko is still here- I bet she wants to hear your bear facts too!” The girl grinned and walked over to the other, causing a twinge of.. something unpleasant inside the man. Regardless, he took a deep breath and followed, deciding not to crush the girl’s dreams until she at least made an attempt. It’d give him time to make up some sort of excuse, or maybe a well formed explanation so she wouldn’t spend her whole afterlife in denial. 

“Hey Kamiko! Hey! Nickelee isn’t dead or nothing, and he knows really cool bear facts! And other facts too, I think he’s smart!” The girl waved her arms in front of Kamiko as she spoke, Nikola assumed Kamiko would just ignore her and continue her mourning (though is it technically still ignoring if you don’t even know you're doing it?) but she seemed to pause for a moment, slowly raising her head from where it layed in her crossed arms. 

She spent a moment looking directly at Chikako with a hazy sort of daze in her gaze, while Chikako stared back patiently. The living of the two blinked, and it looked like she could suddenly see clearly after a life spent with nothing but foggy mirrors.

“Chikako?” Kamiko gasped. “Kamiko!” Chikako answered. “Chikako!” Kamiko shouted, a grin on her face as she stood up from the dining room table. “Kamiko!!” 

The hug that followed was quite heart warming, if not a tad awkward for Nikola. He was happy for the two of them! He was glad they got to make peace with each other. He was glad Chikako even had anyone to make peace with, he thought, as his smile faltered for a moment, deciding to adjust his hat so the brim pointed towards the floor, hiding his gaze for a moment.

“You’re a ghost!” Kamiko said, that same sort of excitedness in her voice, as they pulled away from their hug. “What’s a ghost?” Chikako asked her. “You don’t know what a-? Oh right! You said your mom didn’t send you to school or nothin right?” She hadn’t gone to school? Nikola frowned sympathetically. Sure, most children didn’t enjoy the experience, but.. it was still a valid part of childhood. One that had clearly affected her- the absence of it, that is. 

“Nuh-uh.” Chikako shook her head. “My mommy was too busy working to teach me, an’ she didn’t want me goin’ to um.. what did she say.. She says she didn’t wanna send me to school cause she didn’t want me getting hurt! So she just had me stay home and play with Mr. Bear!” The girl nodded her head, seeming proud of herself for remembering. “And then my brother went to rockstar school and became the bestest rockstar ever forever.” 

Kamiko nodded, seeming satisfied with this explanation. “Well basically, a ghost is like.. When you die, its what happens to you after. And you get super duper cool ghost powers! You can walk through walls and control people and eat all the candy you want without getting a tummy ache!!” Chikako seemed very impressed with this. 

“So.. that means I died..?” Kamiko nodded her head. “What does that mean?” Kamiko then stopped to think, seeming a tad surprised that Chikako didn’t know but she seemed to shrug it off quickly and jump into an explanation. 

“You know how you said your dad got really hurt and then you didn’t see him anymore? Well- it's when that happens. And then people can’t see you anymore, unless you're a ghost. Then cool people with ghost seeing powers can see you.” Even though the explanation was a bit.. quick, and probably less in depth than in needed to be for someone like Chikako to fully understand.. maybe this was best. Sure saved Nikola the trouble of having to explain it himself, he thought with a slight chuckle. Children teaching dead children about death. Oh what has this world come to?

“So my dad is dead..” “Yes. Sorry.” “And I’m dead?” “Yeah!! Also sorry.” “So does that mean I can see my dad again?!” Kamiko seemed unsure of the answer to this one, and as she struggled to form an answer, Nikola decided to finally speak up and be of some use.

“Ah- Sorry lass, I don’t think we can see anyone that hasn’t died on the train.. I tried to look for Mi-iine friend. My friend. And he wasn’t um..” Nikola chuckled and messed with his hat again. “He isn’t here. And I didn’t see your dad either, sorry.” Everyone was quiet for a moment, and Nikola was worried he had just messed everything up, ready to go into a spiral about how terrible he was and how he should just go drag himself to hell already-

But before anything like that could happen, it seemed like Chikako and Kamiko moved on. 

“Oh well! I’ll just see him another day then. Oh! Oh! Kamiko, you wanna go meet that new person bug told us about? I bet he’s never seen a ghost before!” Kamiko seemed to love this idea, though Nikola had a feeling that might not go over well.. having one of your first interactions in a killing game be with a ghost surely wouldn’t be pleasant.

As the two girls moved towards the door, the dead engineer stood firmly in his place, simply watching the two leave. Noticing that he wasn't following, they stopped and looked back at him, a puzzled look on both their faces. 

“Aren’t you coming?” Kamiko asked. “The new guy probably loves bears!” Chikako offered with a grin. Nikola simply chuckled, somewhat forcefully, and put his hands up, as if trying to defend himself. “Nah I.. I have ghost things to do. Secret ghost things. I’ll meet you guys and tell you all about it later, okay?” The two shared a look before shrugging, deciding to trust him. He was nice, and they didn’t want to interrupt any secret ghost shenanigans- especially since he was gonna tell them about it later. Maybe it was boring adult stuff, Kamiko always hated that stuff.

“Okay! But we’ll say hi to the new person for you, mkay?” Nikola chuckled and smiled. “Alright, thanks.” The two then waved and left the dining room, and with that, the man let out a sigh. 

Still no sign of her.. Even if she didn’t want him to, he couldn’t just not see if she was alright. She was still a person. And it wasn’t like anyone else was gonna do it. 

So he searched the cars, avoiding only the grandhall, until the only place left was the trial room. He furrowed his brow as he stood in the 7 roomer, considering if it was really going back. Would he even be able to help? Especially if she didn’t even want him to..

Another deep breath, and he made his choice. 

The trial room was.. dark. And hot, Vesta noted. At least the puppet hadn’t said anything. She.. felt a bit guilty for snapping at that young boy earlier. But it’s not like she was unjustified! He- he was probably going to attack her! Or, or call her a whore, or whatever else she’s spent the last few hours convincing herself. 

Is it really a lie anymore if you believe it to be true? If you trick yourself into it, anyways. She would never lie about that, she murmured as she sat on the floor of the trial room, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. She’s the Ultimate Nun, she would never do anything of the sort. She would never.. dirty herself with such acts, she reasons as the tears begin to roll down her face, and she puts it in her hands. 

“I.. I am pure! I would never disobey you, of course.. I am an ultimate for lord's sake- I, I..” Her breathing began to grow frantic. “If I do not have my holiness, then what do I have-? It has to- I- It’s not my fault! It’s not my fault!” The woman cried out, silent tears turning into sobs as she shook and held herself on that cold, dirty floor.

“Please! Stop- Stop this! Let me into heaven! I have com-committed myself to you- for what more must I give? I, I- Just get me out of this- this fu-ucking train! Please! Please!” She started to scream as she stared up at the ceiling, as if searching for answers. 

“At least fucking say something you asshole! I gave my everything to you and you know it! At least tell me no directly! At least tell me your banishing me to hell! At least- At least come down here and say it to my face, if you are to truly punish me this unjustly!” At this point she had raised herself to her feet, large tears rolling down her now red face, along with a few blood trails that stemmed from her mouth, as she glared at the ceiling. 

Still, it held no answers for her. Unforgiving, and cold. Everything was so cold. The incinerator was on, but everything was still so, so cold.

After a minute or so without a response, Vesta let out a scream. “Fine! Say nothing then! History will know who is right! Who the hell needs you anyways?!” After another minute without a response, Vesta fell to her knees and began to sob again, covering her face and whispering quiet apologies and prayers.

“Are you.. okay..?”A voice suddenly asked. Vesta gasped, wondering if he had finally answered- 

But then the scottish accent hit her, and she opened her eyes, finding Nikola smith standing over her, worry evident in his eyes. She quickly scurried away from him on the floor, pushing herself until her back hit the incinerator- It went through it slightly, but given her new state and current priorities, she didn’t quite notice.

“I’m not gonna hurt you! Promise-” Once again, he offered his hand. “Let’s.. Talk.”

After a moment of hesitation, she reached her hand out, and took his hand. He pulled her to her feet, and he smiled.

She prayed that you couldn’t die twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg another chapter woaaahh :woozy_face:  
> god i have!! no idea what im doing!! :grin:  
> so thats poggers :relaxed:  
> hope im doing it good though :zany_face:

**Author's Note:**

> first real fic on ao3 :sob: (ignore the garfield thing im actually begging you)  
> hope it!!! isnt trash!!!!  
> please leave comments :sob:  
> theyre the only thing keeping me alive


End file.
